cross my heart, c

oops too lazy to go to page 1 to get the template

trevor nods, realizing that he's midway through making one of her preferred sandwiches anyway. he hopes that she'll eat it, if only because he'd just get more worried about her if she doesn't. then again, when doesn't he worry about heidi?

reappearing with both of their sandwiches, he handed one to heidi before sitting down next to her. "i went to work, and on my way back home got stopped by a drunk guy. i must have said something that upset him." he shrugged, taking a bite.

"are you spending the night here or are you planning on going home to see how your parents react?"

before long, she'd nodding along, and trevor feels a grin rising to his face as he's filled with a sense of happiness he hasn't felt in a long time. he's grinning even wider when her response is given, and for some reason trevor feels like a giddy kid again.

"you can stay here for a week and i still wouldn't care. you're always welcome here, heid." to make a point, he leans against her, aiming to tap her with his shoulder but well he didn't bother moving after he made contact.

"you're always welcome here."

whether she had meant to or not, trevor could see the smile just before she covered it up by taking another bite. a smile of his own spread across his face, and he didn't even bother trying to hide it like she did, instead pushing against her a little more.

having someone else in his apartment is nice, and trevor thinks that having heidi in his apartment is even more nice. she's company, nice company if he may say so himself, and he'd rather her over some stupid dog. then again, a dog would be company too, but more work. plus, heidi can make intelligent conversation.

that and this time the silence isn't as awkward. it's comfortable, and he leans away from heidi to put his plate on the coffee table in front of them before returning to his place, leaning against heidi and trying desperately to not fall asleep.

leaning against heidi, he can feel everything. how she sits rigidly, like she's being scolded for something. how she's giving off that tired aura about her, and while it bothers him he can't really do much about it. he can feel every drop in her body going straight, and then falter once. briefly, trevor wonders if it's because he's heavy, but if he was he probably would have gotten yelled at by her. or she would have joked about him weighing a lot, and he would have moved, but she didn't, and so he stayed still against her.

before he knows it, his eyes are slipping shut. slowly, surely, he lets himself relax against her. lets himself show that he's completely vulnerable because it's heidi and heidi is good, heidi is perfect. she's warm, and she's not moving around much, and his head seems to fit perfectly on her shoulder. at least he thinks it fits perfectly, and if it were at all uncomfortable for her, she would have told him to move, right? he hoped so.

then the sound of her voice is pulling him out of his daze, and he shifts around so he can look up at her without moving away from his spot too much. a soft "hmm?" managing to leave him as he looks up at her, even though he's taller than her. in any other circumstance, he'd be looking down. he thinks he liked this a little better, though.

but the silence sets in once again, and he's about to ask what she needed him for before suddenly they're closer. they're closer and he's frozen in his place briefly while she's suddenly much, much closer and he loves it but he's not sure how to respond. they're friends, and friends don't do this. friends can hug, can cry on one another's shoulders, but this seems more like taking the line of friendship and tearing it apart.

and trevor won't say that he'll miss that line.

his mind stops moving, and his arms start moving, and trevor reaches out to grab on to her arm as he presses his lips up against her's. grabbing on and hoping that this isn't a dream, that this heidi is his heidi and not some strange shoulder-length haired girl from some other place.

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have this bc you probably won't see me since i have school + band festival tomorrow so like this should please you okay. hopefully.

just like that she's gone, trevor's grip on her arm tightening because he doesn't want her to leave. where else would she go? back to her house? to the parents that are too busy wrapped up in fighting to even really notice her?

no, not if he has any say in it. but he does loosen his hand, suddenly aware that a grip that wouldn't seem too tight to him would feel like a death grip to someone else, and he wasn't particularly fond of hurting her. not heidi. she got enough hurt from everyone else.

he laughed, hoping to relieve some of the tension that came back. "for what?"

he wonders briefly if heidi really would leave, after doing something like she did. she wasn't really one for fleeing a scene, that wasn't in her track record at least, and trevor wondered momentarily if she was going to be up to something new.

he hoped not.

though what she said made himself freeze for a moment again. "but are you?" he questions, leaning around so that he can look at her. really look at her. "because i'm not sorry at all."

@nan06

opening his mouth to say something, but he couldn't quite think of what to say. how does someone answer something like that?

trevor wasn't sure, but he is certain that heidi probably won't listen to what he has to say anyway. she never does, especially if it happened to be about her. it was just how heidi was, and quite frankly, it made trevor a little more upset than it should have most of the time.

he sighs. "heidi." pausing for a moment, irregardless of whether he'd get her attention or not. "look at me." he'd wait for her to look at him, and he didn't care how long it would take.

"there is no one better for me than you." and then it's out, out in the open and sitting like a lost duck. to be honest, trevor isn't sure what to think, but he tries not to think. why think and dwell on the bad things that could happen when he could just keep living in the now? "don't you see that?"

his impatience was starting to kick in, and he was trying his best to keep it under control.