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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2013 23:18:27 GMT
in the corner of her room, sits a little pile. that pile is for toys that's she's broken to bits. she doesn't like to throw things out, too many memories, too many stories, so she keeps them all tidy and neat in a little pile by her desk. so that she doesn't get yelled at for making a mess.
so maybe she can make her daddy proud, one day he'll see her room and say it's very clean ellie, good job! and she'll smile and he will too.
then one day, ellie meets her daddy for the very first time. she feels energy bubble up in her body and she feels so excited. he's like she's been told, not the perfect daddy, but good enough for her.
she never expected him to be a good daddy, but she's always hoped he'd love her just a little.
emmie tells her that he's not a good dad and ellie doesn't hesitate to agree with that, but she still loves him. then ellie tells her that he doesn't love her and ellie's smile fades just a little.
she knows, deep down that he'll never love her like she loves him. not as a daughter, not unconditionally like he should as a father. she's okay with that though, or so she thinks.
she comes home from school one day, and hangs up her back-pack and takes off her shoes and lines them all nice and proper in a row by the door. off to the side and out of the way. she trots quietly into the living room of her father's apartment - where's she's staying for the weekend with emmie - and sees her daddy.
she smiles and greets him with a very energetic hi daddy!, but he simply spares her a glance before returning to his show.
ellie doesn't feel anything, he's always like this, so she doesn't mind. she returns to her back-pack in the hall and takes out her lunchbox, which is empty, even of the green broccoli that was packed in there!
she hurries back into the living room and tries to get his attention, look daddy, i finished all my lunch today!
she doesn't get a response, but she's okay with that! she scurries to the kitchen to wash her lunchbox and put it away for monday.
she passes the garbage can on her way there, and her large, brown eyes go a little wide before going sad.
the drawing she gave her daddy lay in the garbage can, and she turns her head away so that she doesn't cry. she spent a very long time on that drawing, and she tried her best!
ellies guesses her best isn't the best though.
she rushes through the cleaning of her lunchbox and puts it into the dishrack before hurrying to her room. she glances at the pile of broken toys in the corner of her room - it's not as big as the one at her mama's house - and slowly walks towards it.
she sits down in pile and pulls the broken toys towards her, so they don't spread out and make a big mess. ellie pulls her legs towards her chest and wraps her arms around them and rests her chin on a knee.
she's know scratched or broken on the outside, but she feels a little pain in her pretty, little heart and she feels like she's broken.
she thought she'd be okay with her daddy not loving her like she does him, but she never thought it'd be so hard to really be okay with it. she wonders if her daddy even likes her, even a little. she doesn't think that he does, maybe he even hates her and she feels something hurt in her chest. it hurts, so, so, much. she can feel tears threatening to fall, but she blinks them back and holds her breath.
it's how she does it every time she needs to be strong.
emmie passes by her door and tells her don't sit in the pile for broken toys, it's for broken things! ellie forces a sad smile on her face and whispers too low for her sister to hear: but i am a broken thing.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2013 23:46:25 GMT
for future ref ofc
[div style="line-height:14px;font-size:12px;padding:10px;background-color:#f4f4f4;"][blockquote][blockquote][font face="raavi"][/font][/blockquote][/blockquote][/div]
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2013 0:03:11 GMT
notes: harper & jamie are slightly older, eighteen/nineteen years of age around?? sort of?? idk just keep in mind that's what i'm thinking about them.
friends are something harper never honestly had. over the years, he's learned to become less awkward, less easy to pressure, less easy to push around, and maybe, just maybe he's become a little more attractive over the years.
the girls don't slap him when he hits on them anymore, and the guys just roll their eyes and walk away awkwardly now. he feels somewhat accomplished these days, and he feels more confident. he gets asked out by girls - and a few brave boys - every so often and he helps boost his confidence even more, he doesn't let it go to his head though. or at least, he tries to not let it get to his head.
he feels accomplished every time he walks out of school, like he's done something good, like he's achieved something. the feeling is so foreign to him, even after a couple of years.
his favourite accomplishment though, is the blue haired boy he finds waiting for him at the school gates every so often.
if you told harper in the past that he'd start dating his first high school friend, he would've went bright red and stuttered out a pick-up line before running away. he never would've been able to face jamie after that day.
but everything is different now, and he's come to the conclusion, he really really likes jamie.
jamie is still the one thing that makes harper go back to his awkward, and easily pressured persona he carried with him when he was fourteen. harper doesn't mind though, he never minds, it's jamie after all.
and in exchange for jamie being the first friend harper had in several years, harper has learned to accept and be okay with jamie and everything he is.
he's learnt to read when jamie has gone another one of those extremely long sleepless nights. he's knows jamie's favourite coffee off by heart and he's spent more hours than he can count staying up with him, keeping him company.
he's met some of jamie's family too.
he's not too sure how he feels about them, but he thinks some of them are pretty cool - if not a little bit psycho, but that's okay because they're jamie's family. (however, he doesn't think he can forgive what nessa did back in his freshman year, he still has war flashbacks about it).
now he knows that he's glad he met jamie that one faithful day in detention. he's glad he took up the chance to talk to him, and - he'll admit it now - be a little forceful with the rather one-sided conversation. he's glad that fate decided to smile down upon him and gift him with a friend.
these days, he hopes jamie will be his friend forever by choice and stick around. though, he does have an idea to help the boy make his decision. he isn't too sure what he's planning to do, but he's got a general idea.
and that idea includes a silver band, and a couple of life long vows.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2013 1:02:55 GMT
notes you're getting a little peek at old school david, he's technically with his fiancee, because he's maybe twenty-twenty-one??? idk, s/t like that.
if star were to be honest, she'd say that the male model in front of her is someone she wouldn't mind getting into her bed. he's a couple years older than her, but he's still hot as hell.
he's got a towel tied around his waist, but everything else is out in the open. his hair is wet from the shower he's just stepped out of and she can't say that she isn't attracted to him.
she stares, and he notices, he winks at her and she winks back.
alright, let's get this started, she says as she takes her place behind her camera.
she notes his smirk as the towel drops to the floor, a little smirk spreads across her face as she watches it fall. she's a little impressed, but she'd never say that outloud.
david sits down on her bed, and uses his to motion to a spot next to him with a smirk printed on his lips. why don't you set a timer and come join me for a little fun? he says with that smirk of his.
the timer is already set to take pictures every two minutes before he finishes his sentence.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2013 5:31:00 GMT
PICK YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON.
star leger.
you count the days until the leaves start to fall and when they do you clear out your computer and put all the photos into an external memory source. by the end of the first day, your camera is full and you're shivering as you walk home. you break out the hot chocolate and warm blankets and curl up on the couch with your cute little kitten. life is bliss in fall.
harper leger.
school may start in fall, but it ends in summer. you always thought that school ending in spring would be better. after all, fall and spring are opposites. spring also happens to be your favourite season, so school ending then too would be awesome. the soccer season also starts in spring, not that you'd ever make it onto a team.
david wright.
your favourite season is wedding season which, needless to say, is every season. you don't particularly dislike any season, but you don't like any of them either. seasons are things that come and go like time. your opinion on them is pretty neutral, so you don't bother to try and pick a favourite.
ellie kortajarena.
summer is too hot. winter is too cold. fall everything is dead. so you guess you like spring the best. spring is the season of life and motherhood and babies, so maybe that's why you like the season. you really just like spring because it's not too cold and not too hot and you can take raul the cat out for walks.
hannah singh.
blurb
heidi davidson.
blurb
ray lannister.
blurb
raul the cat.
blurb
rhea la fontaine.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2013 4:46:42 GMT
it's hard being a writer, so don't ever become one.
don't ever write up worlds and people and characters. don't let yourself get connected to them, don't let them have pieces of your heart that are meant for the people in your world.
all they're going to do is squeeze that piece of heart until you're nothing but a shell of a human who has cried too many tears over characters that aren't real, smiled too many times because a character you love got the right ending, gotten angry over an outcome that wasn't the one you wanted.
don't become a writer because you're going to meet other writes and you're going to collaberate with them to create cities in countries in worlds in universes.
all of which, you cannot visit because you are real. you do not exist as words on a page, or letters on a screen, or words from a mouth.
you are a person made of blood, bone and ash and there is nothing you can do to change that.
no matter how much you want to sit next to jamie in class, or play strip poker with cass, or summon satan with angelo, you just cannot do it.
you can never, and will never, exist in the worlds you have created and you'll hate yourself every day for it.
every day you go without hearing erik's footsteps chase after you.
every day you go without having angel show up drunk as hell on your doorstep and nev show up an hour or two later to pick him up.
every day you go without seeing raul attempt to pick up a chick, or see ellie chase after her father like a lost puppy.
you'll never hear about that one kiss harper had with jamie that he told only you about.
you may think you will, but you won't.
because they're characters you've made up in situations you've planned in worlds you could dream up and describe with your eyes closed and your hands behind your back.
but that's what you get, for being a writer.
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