to binge, c

After he left Angel at the restaurant, Nevada didn't go home. He left the island for a few weeks as he had the first time he was rejected by the blond. Nevada didn't even know if Angel would even go back to the penthouse. Nova Athenis was just the last place he wanted to be. But he wanted to be home as soon as his plane landed in Milan. The italian city brought nothing but thoughts of Angel to his tumultuous mind.

Was something wrong with him? No matter what he did, he couldn't get Angel off his mind. He knew just how pointless it was to chase after him considering everything between them. Yet he just kept pining for him. Maybe he was sick in the head. When he returned home within the next week, he saw there was no trace that Angel had ever come back. He saw no sign of him in the days that followed either.

That was it then. He let himself think the unhealthy cycle wouldn't break but it finally did. Angel was probably better off wherever he was. Nevada worried whether he was okay or not, though it was clearly no longer his concern. Nevertheless he couldn't get over Angel so he shut himself up in his study and avoided any reminders of the blond. Of course, it wouldn't be that easy.

Rubbing a kink in his neck, Nevada forces himself from the arm chair nestled in the corner by his bookshelf. It had become his bed since he returned home. He was groggy, not thinking as he shuffled to answer the door. he heard the voice beyond the door once he had clocked open the locks and twisted the knob. "Angel." He mumbled flatly, suddenly too aware of his disheveled appearance and wrinkled shirt. "What brings you here?"

The response to the spiteful, mocking question asked of him was agonizing and obvious. Angel was missed, more than he cared to miss a person. He felt no need indulging it in answering. Nevada had little desire to be toyed with while he recovered still from the wounds delivered to it by Angel's own tongue and actions. And also his own ignorance. His frail heart would be his undoing. "What is it that you want?"

Had he come to rub salt in his wound, or was there another reason? At the present, he cared not whatever reason brought him to his front door. Nevada desired only for him to leave him in peace to lick clean the injuries that bleed of his unrequited love. "If you have come only to mock me than show yourself the door. I will not sit by while you mock me for offering you place in my heart."

Nevada ran a self-conscious hand through his disheveled hair, which had gone some time without proper brushing. He loosened knots and smoothed out wild locks under Angel's frigid glare. "But if you come without ill intent, you may stay for a coffee." Despite the hurt, it was apparent that Angel drank and drank, and not much else. "If you have need to change, your clothes are where you left them."

His purpose was unclear as he rummage through the cupboards, but Nevada was beginning to get an idea of what it was. Angel was drunk, clearly turned from bars and refuses at liquor stores in his inebriation. The blond sought liquor at Nevada's expense as a result. Unfortunately, what he had was drunk dry by Nevada himself in his misery. It was so unlike him. He did not speak up about it though. His lips were sealed.

"If coffee is not what you require, then speak that reason of your visitation." He spoke with feigned ignorance and standing out of the blond's way. Lifting a figure to help him in his search was the last thing he intended to do. Angel wasn't an invited guest, or even a wanted one. Nevada only wished to be left alone to heal. Yet it suddenly became clear that Angel sought to cause him further injury, not just alcohol. "...I do not require knowledge of your affairs."

A scoff nearly escaped pasted his pressed lips at Angel’s drunken observations. He was surprised he hadn’t noticed sooner. Nevada was usually so meticulous about his appearance. Every hair had to be in its proper place, and his clothes had to be crisp and clean. There was even a light shadow of stubble on his face from a day gone without shaving. “Do I?” A note of sarcasm tinted his voice.

Watching the blond pull himself on the countertops, rambling on and on with nonsense, Nevada’s eyes caught the glinting on his finger. “I would prefer that you keep private your sex life. I do not care to know about it.” He replied sternly, making no move to move closer. Nevada kept a comfortable distance between him and Angel. “No.”

It was clear to him that Angel was so inebriated that he had no idea what he had come for. He simply went to the first thought that came to mind. Unfortunately, Nevada was in no mood to give in to him, especially not after what he said prior. He didn’t want to touch Angel after he had been with so many strange men. Once, he had been a stranger to the concept of sex and the diseases that could inflict you by engaging in the act with multiply people. He knew now and he didn’t want to risk any strange infections.

Maybe he should have thought of that before, well aware of Angel’s promiscuous behavior. But it wasn’t shoved in his face so blatantly before. Ignorance was bliss, wasn’t it? “No. I will not touch you after so many other men have. You may seek intercourse elsewhere.” A glint of metal flashed on the blonde’s finger, but he barely paid it mind. It might have been some trinket stolen from the figure of one of Angel’s many partners. He didn’t think it could be the ring he gave Angel.

Nevada had looked upon the sprawled out blonde with cold indifference, pushing down all other feelings. He spoke his peace. If it was not to Angel’s liking than the blonde could leave, even if that wasn’t what he wanted. What he wanted no longer seemed clear anymore. He would not have a chance to figure it out. The moment the words slipped past his lips, the crooked smile vanished from Angel’s lips. His mood switched from drunken giddiness to anger.

“The taste of rejection is not a pleasant one, is it?” He replied back smoothly, unfazed by Angel’s anger. “Perhaps you will understand now the pain you have forced on to me.” Nevada held the blonde’s glaring gaze. “It is true it once did not bother me. I did not think of the other hands that touched you.” He preferred not to. “I have not.” He would not lie. He never had before. “You have made it clear that I mean nothing to you. I will not sleep with you again.”

His heart ached, yet it still was full of longing for the blonde. Nevada loved him. The love he felt was merely shadowed by hurt and anger, ignited by Angel's absence and sudden drunken return. He poked at still smoldering embers of his anger when he waltzed on and threw out his promiscuous adventures. Although he knew Angel slept around, the last thing he wanted to know was he hadn't come home because of that very reason.

"How much more would you ask me to endure? Does my heartache amuse you?" His voice was icy. "You left. I waited for you to come home. When you did not, I left to clear by head yet I worried for you constantly. I returned and you had not come home. It has been weeks. Now you show up, announcing your sexual escapades. How am I supposed to take that? Did you think that I would congratulate you?"