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demigod
with 311 posts
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| we were raised kings of nowhere |
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wake
Jan 16, 2014 3:22:10 GMT
Post by ANGEL ALESSI on Jan 16, 2014 3:22:10 GMT
Everything was light and sterile. Blinding, after sitting in the dark as long as he had, the air nauseatingly thick with the scent of antiseptic, the fluorescents overhead too bright. There was no blood here, just the stark white of ace bandages and casts. He wanted to go home, to burrow himself in the dark of Nevada's bedroom until this passed.
He could hear bustling outside his room - stretchers and footsteps and chatter, but inside was empty and quiet. Angel had already called the nurses, multiple times, asking for stronger meds, asking when he could go home, asking if Nevada was here yet. No, not yet, no. He was bored and light-headed. There was nothing to do but remember the crash - which he couldn't, not really. He couldn't think too clearly, but he could think enough to realize just how fucked up he was. There was nothing to take his mind off the pain, the reminders of his broken body.
@kieran
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wake
Jan 17, 2014 3:19:51 GMT
Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2014 3:19:51 GMT
It was hard to get rid of the sinking guilt that filled Kieran's stomach. Day in and day out, he laid in his hospital bed, staring out the window. One by one the IVs came out of his arm and he could do more and more things. The physical therapist came by to help him daily. But nothing could help that feeling in his gut. It wasn't completely his fault, but it sure felt like it. He knew lawyers would be after him the moment he got out of the hospital, and that was more than just a little scary. He didn't want to go to jail. He didn't want to become a felon. No one had even died! That didn't matter much in the eyes of the law, it seemed. He was still a bad person. As if he needed some jackass in a poorly-tailored suit and a combover to tell him that. Finally, it was his last night. The nurses told him he would be okay to leave in the morning, they just wanted to keep him another night to make sure he was stable enough to actually leave. Even the hospital staff was cold with him. He'd gotten no visitors. After the main nursing staff left for the night, and the few night nurses were at the desk, he decided to go for a little walk. Climbing out of his bed and sliding his feet into the hospital slippers waiting on the floor, he wrapped the provided robe around his body and set out for his destination. It might not do much to abate his guilt — it might even be worse — but he needed to do it. Walking was difficult. He'd sustained no fractures, but his body was cut and bruised and most movement in general was a bit painful. He halfway didn't want to know what had happened to Angel, how badly he was hurt. But his feet kept trudging on, pushing his IV stand with him, though the only thing it was flooding into his body was pain medication. The nurse in the ward told him which room he needed to go to, and after a few minutes of shuffling and gently swearing when something hurt, he reached the room. This was it. The leap of faith. Peeking into the room, Angel was laying in the bed, eyes closed. Kieran didn't even know if he was awake. This was a stupid idea — but which of his ideas weren't? ANGEL ALESSI |
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demigod
with 311 posts
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| we were raised kings of nowhere |
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wake
Jan 17, 2014 4:12:57 GMT
Post by ANGEL ALESSI on Jan 17, 2014 4:12:57 GMT
He could hear the door sliding open, and he lay still a few seconds before he opened his eyes, expecting a looming nurse to be checking up on him. Nevada with flowers. Instead, he had to try to prop himself up on his elbows, lift his weary head - it was strange how tired he felt, all the time, from doing absolutely nothing. Maybe it was just the drugs.
It took a moment for him to recognize his visitor, and it was hard to twist his expression into something as displeased as he felt. Angel hadn't seen himself yet - he knew his body was banged up, his face was cut up and bruised like the rest of him.
Kieran looked bad, but Angel could already tell he had gotten off easier in this entire mess - he was walking, at least. With a sigh, he slumped back down against the bed.
"Fuck you."
@kieran
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wake
Jan 17, 2014 5:25:49 GMT
Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2014 5:25:49 GMT
He didn't expect much else, honestly. Angel had a right to be mad at him. And by the looks of things, Kieran should be thanking whatever gods might be up there that he got off with the injuries he did. But Angel wasn't going to get in trouble for this. No, it was easy to see that Angel was a victim in this situation. Kieran was trying hard not to be angry at the other man, but it was getting hard. This wasn't his sole fault. Not his sole responsibility. And here he was, being made out to be the bad guy. It had been a stupid mistake. But it wasn't just his alone. "I deserve that," he sighed, contradicting his current thoughts. He wasn't going to barge into the other man's hospital room and start telling him off. Well, not necessarily telling him off, but...accusing him. Yelling. That would be wrong, and Kieran knew that a good portion of this was his fault. He could've refused, he could have not gotten in the car. He simply rubbed at his face with his good hand, the one without pins and pricks and IVs poking out of it. It was strange how half of Kieran's body was immediately becoming "bad," defective and not able to be used. He'd hoped it would just stop at his eye, even though this was just temporary. "It wasn't just my fault you know," he eventually ventured, testing the waters quietly. ANGEL ALESSI |
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demigod
with 311 posts
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| we were raised kings of nowhere |
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wake
Jan 17, 2014 23:01:31 GMT
Post by ANGEL ALESSI on Jan 17, 2014 23:01:31 GMT
Kieran's words hung in the air tensely. If he was here to apologize, Angel didn't want to hear it. Apologies weren't going to get him out of the hospital, they weren't going to fix things and Angel was definitely not about to accept any. He hoped the silence got that across because he'd never been too good with words, especially not in his current state. He wanted to scream and shout and cry and say look what you did, but he didn' have the strength for that.
He was waiting for the door to shut and to be left alone again. Certainly not what Kieran came out with.
Angel's anger surged up so quick and burning that it was almost painful. He gave a scoff, a bitter laugh - and it hurt. "You were driving." He reminded Kieran, coldly.
@kieran
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wake
Jan 18, 2014 5:05:15 GMT
Post by Deleted on Jan 18, 2014 5:05:15 GMT
It was true. He was driving. But Kieran wasn't about to take all the blame for this. The law wasn't going to pay any attention to Angel — he was the victim in this situation according to him and them. It was his word's against Angel's and he knew the damn jury would side with the blonde. "Yeah I was, but I was driving your boyfriend's car," he said, scoffing. "You were the one who gave me the keys." Blaming other people wasn't going to get him very far. He knew that. Hell, both of them should be thankful to even be alive. The crash wasn't deadly but it was pretty severe and they both had been pretty messed up at the time. But Kieran wasn't exactly sure what he was living for, now. A stint in jail and more people to hate him? "I'm sorry," he finally uttered after a few moments of silence, looking at the ground a few feet in front of him. "You probably don't give a flying fuck, but I am. It's not like I wanted to get into the crash." He was done with being petty, done with being angry. Apparently whatever friendship was forming between them was unsalvageable...but he still had to try. He still had to apologize and say his piece. ANGEL ALESSI |
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demigod
with 311 posts
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| we were raised kings of nowhere |
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wake
Jan 19, 2014 5:07:50 GMT
Post by ANGEL ALESSI on Jan 19, 2014 5:07:50 GMT
It was only a matter of time before it came out, Kieran's apology, and it dropped useless and heavy from his lips, even if he understood how little it meant.
As far as Angel was concerned, this was all Kieran's fault. He had been driving, he had lost control of the car. He should have stayed on the goddamn road. And he had walked away virtually unhurt, while Angel was still bound to his hospital bed. Even if Kieran hadn't meant to crash, Angel needed somebody to blame.
"Tell that to my shattered pelvis."
@kieran
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wake
Jan 20, 2014 3:29:09 GMT
Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2014 3:29:09 GMT
As if Kieran didn't feel guilty enough. Sighing, he looked away, studying one of the machines close to the wall, eyes washing it over so he wouldn't have to look over at Angel, both his angry eyes and the fresh cuts on his face and arms. He didn't know what he could do to fix things. Actually, things were probably irreparable. There was nothing that could take away the injuries and the memories. Kieran didn't know when he became so introspective or reserved. Then again, this was a lot more serious than anything that had ever happened in his life. Even in his own crash, he was the only one who had gotten hurt. He had no liabilities. Honestly, you thought he would've learned his lesson. "I know it isn't much," he began to say, his eyes falling from the wall to the floor back up to Angel, his mouth moving and voice sounding almost in contrary to his brain. "But if there's anything I can do to maybe kind of make it up to you, I'll do it. Anything." ANGEL ALESSI |
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demigod
with 311 posts
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| we were raised kings of nowhere |
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wake
Jan 21, 2014 1:58:58 GMT
Post by ANGEL ALESSI on Jan 21, 2014 1:58:58 GMT
Angel ran his nails along the clean white bedsheets beneath him, waiting for Kieran to leave, wondering what else he could possibly have to say.
He turned his head to really look at his visitor. On the table by the bed was a vase of fresh flowers, one of the expensive bouquets Nevada brought earlier, a tower of neatly stacked fashion magazines, which Nevada had brought him too. He was always bored. Just bored and tired.
Kieran looked banged up too, IV still poking out of one arm, hospital bracelet and gown. Still, he was walking, probably ready to leave soon. In some way it was satisfying to know he'd suffered, but mostly it was disappointing that he hadn't suffered as much as Angel though he deserved. Not as much as Angel had.
He wanted to tell him he could just fuck off and never come near him again, but then he realized there was something he wanted. It wasn't anything close enough to earn his total forgiveness, but it was a start. Maybe not even that. It was taking advantage of somebody who deserved it.
"Actually - you're getting out soon, right?" There was a note of bitterness in his tone when he said this, though the rest was rather clipped and cold too. "Can you like... sneak me some food? Real food." He'd been excited for solid food until he got a taste of what exactly it entailed. "Or booze..." Angel mused. "Like those lil bottles..."
@kieran
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wake
Jan 21, 2014 7:06:37 GMT
Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2014 7:06:37 GMT
It would never really be enough. Kieran knew how this sort of thing went, it was in the movies, right? He was a classic case. But his guilt was so overbearing he had to do something, anything to just make it stop. Somewhere inside he knew that sneaking Angel some food and trial-sized bottles of booze wouldn't do a damn thing. But he had to try, right? "Yeah, I get out tomorrow," he said. "And...yeah. I can get that stuff for you. It's the least I could do, since I did all of this..." It wasn't even worth fighting anymore. Maybe Kieran even believed it was his fault, now, even if he wasn't the only one who had done something wrong. He was too tired to fight it now and it really wasn't worth his time or energy to try and fight back. Angel wouldn't change. Kieran didn't expect him to. "What kind of food, what kind of booze?" he asked. "You gotta have some kind of favorite, something you're craving." He wanted to make sure he got something Angel truly wanted, and if this is what it entailed — him becoming a bus boy — then that's what it entailed. ANGEL ALESSI |
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demigod
with 311 posts
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| we were raised kings of nowhere |
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wake
Jan 22, 2014 16:09:37 GMT
Post by ANGEL ALESSI on Jan 22, 2014 16:09:37 GMT
No matter what Kieran did - unless he could undo all that had happened - Angel wasn't going to forgive him. But Kieran seemed desperate to make it up to him, and Angel wasn't above taking advantage of that. As much as he hated him, Angel was going to go insane if he had to eat this shitty food any longer, if he had to go any longer without a drink. You'd think people would be more lenient after Angel had been in a car crash, let him have what he wanted.
He knew Nevada would do anything he could to make Angel comfortable here, but he also knew Nevada wouldn't sneak him stuff, wouldn't let him indulge in things that were bad for him. When Angel finally got discharged, Nevada would wait on him hand and foot, get him anything he wanted, but until then he was stuck with guilting Kieran into it.
"Something spicy." To remind him he still have functioning taste buds. "Indian, maybe. And vodka." He gave a nod of reaffirmation. Angel just hoped neither of them got caught, that his goods wouldn't get confiscated. Angel's favourite things were the things that were bad for him.
@kieran
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wake
Jan 23, 2014 3:47:53 GMT
Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2014 3:47:53 GMT
It wasn't like Kieran to just nod and accept defeat, but he really had no other choice in the matter. It was weird how he just accepted it. A few weeks ago, even a few days ago, he would have been indignant. But near death experiences and hurting another person badly enough to shatter their pelvis had a way of silencing someone. "Alright," he said, suddenly starting to feel pretty tired. Standing up for so long probably wasn't good for him when he was still attached to the IV, and he clutched the IV holder he had been wheeling along with him. Suddenly, laying his bed for a while seemed like a really good idea. "I get out tomorrow some time and then I'll be back with your stuff," he vowed with another nod of his head, and he started to back out. "I should...probably go. Let you rest." In reality, he wanted to rest. Besides, he was sure Angel didn't want to see any more of him as it was. ANGEL ALESSI // sry this is horrible alksj also we could end it now or timeskip? |
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demigod
with 311 posts
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| we were raised kings of nowhere |
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wake
Jan 26, 2014 1:54:00 GMT
Post by ANGEL ALESSI on Jan 26, 2014 1:54:00 GMT
Angel lay back, he didn't bother with goodbyes, he didn't give Kieran the honour of being seen off with any more ceremony than a clipped toenail. He only hoped he'd hold true to his word. While Angel as he was couldn't do much about it, he swore he'd find Kieran and make him feel bad for it. Not guilty bad, but bad as broken bones and subsisting on a morphine drip.
--
There was no set time, and Angel spent the next day in the same impatient leisure as he always did. He was propped up to sit, flipping through a fashion magazine when the door slid open and he raised his head.
@kieran
//so shitty idk srry
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wake
Jan 27, 2014 1:32:43 GMT
Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2014 1:32:43 GMT
Honestly, this was more difficult than Kieran first expected. He didn't know what kind of Indian food that Angel even liked. He wanted something spicy but that wasn't very descriptive when almost everything on the menu was spicy. Finally he just settled on one of the spicier curries at the Indian takeout place he stopped, hoping it would be up to snuff. Then he stopped at a liquor store. Vodka should be easy, right? Wrong. There were so many brands and flavors it was almost impossible to pick something out. Deciding in the end that flavored vodka would probably taste gross with Indian food, he picked out a few of the highest end trial-sized bottles and bought them, including a bottle for him to down on the way to the hospital. Kieran felt he was going to need it. Slipping the mini bottles and the takeout box of curry into his bag, he swiftly made his way to the hospital and to Angel's room. Miraculously he wasn't stopped due to the fact that he reeked like curry powder, but maybe they thought he just had poor hygiene. Now that he thought about it, Kieran was kind of offended. Getting to the room, the door was ajar just a little bit and he slid the door open farther, peeking in to make sure Angel was here and not asleep or anything. Finding him on his bed reading a magazine, he walked a little farther into the room. "I told you I'd be back," he said, trying to smirk. Trying to be his old self again. ANGEL ALESSI |
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demigod
with 311 posts
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| we were raised kings of nowhere |
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wake
Jan 27, 2014 14:31:14 GMT
via mobile
Post by ANGEL ALESSI on Jan 27, 2014 14:31:14 GMT
He glanced up to see Kieran, then finished intently staring at the glossy page of the fashion magazine before looking back at him with disinterest, a flat expression. He still looked beat up, but just being in normal clothes made him look better than he had the day before.
It didn't matter that Kieran was doing him favours. Angel didn't care about his guilt and he wasn't thinking about forgiveness.
He was only using it, using Kieran. Once he was out, he never wanted to see the guy again. Even now there was a loathing that rose at the sight of him, but it came along with an excitement at what he'd brought. The duality made him a little dizzy and sick.
"Oh goodie. I was starting to miss your stupid face." His tone was biting. Angel shut the magazine and dropped it into his lap, only cocking his head, giving Kieran a cold and expectant look.
@kieran
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