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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2013 18:54:21 GMT
@trevor When Heidi got up, Trevor was already gone, but her thoughts from last night echoed in her ears.
Her first instinct was to run, get dressed and leave before he got back. Her second was to sit and wait for him, just like she had promised herself she would.
It took a lot more will-power than she thought it would to stick around the apartment she called a second home. However, she managed.
She changed out of her clothing from last night into something cleaner. A pair of shorts and a baggy t-shirt, she went without a bra too. Her footsteps made little to no noise as she walked from her room to the kitchen to make herself some cereal.
Bowl, milk, cereal, spoon, eat.
She tried to distract herself by counting the times she chewed a spoonful of cereal, but it didn't do much and her mind wandered to last night.
To what Trevor had said, and it made her stomach drop, in a good way, sort of.
Just as she placed her empty bowl of cereal into the sink, the door unlocked and flew open.
She felt her knees shake, just a little. made by CAPTAIN of GANGNAM STYLE |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2013 20:51:30 GMT
To be honest, Trevor wasn't exactly focusing at work. He wasn't doing so terrible of a job that people were noticing, but he was noticing, and that was enough for him to wonder just how much Heidi had bothered him. Just how far into his head she had gotten, and then as if that wasn't enough, he was having problems focusing on doing heavy lifting - not that it required much focus but the amount that it did wasn't even bothered to be given. And, as if that weren't enough, he was certain that by the time he got home, Heidi would be gone. Gone and off doing something stupid, no doubt, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to be put up to another test of how much emotional abuse he could handle. But when he opened the door, he got a surprise. She hadn't left, instead he was eating cereal, and he couldn't help the smile that planted itself on his face. "So you didn't leave."It was more for himself, a confirmation that the worst didn't happen, but she probably heard it anyway. @nan06 something tells me we won't be keeping the post templates for long. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2013 21:30:37 GMT
@trevor Heidi straightens out, calms her nerves and tries to think as clearly as she can.
"I wanted too." She says.
She makes her way towards the loveseat and takes a seat. She spreads her legs across the spot left empty and leans against the armrest. She hesitates to look up at him, but she does, eventually.
"How was work?" She asks. made by CAPTAIN of GANGNAM STYLE |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2013 21:41:59 GMT
He nods, understanding completely when she said that she wanted to, because really he doesn't blame her. If he were in her position, maybe, he'd feel the same way. But he isn't, and he doesn't, so he's careful to cut her some slack. When she sits down on the love seat, Trevor takes a seat on the floor next to her, using what room that's remaining as a place to rest his chin. "It was work." He answers, chuckling a little. "Boring, and annoying, and too much work to really feel worth it."He was careful to leave out that it was too long and made him unfocused. @nan06 something tells me we won't be keeping the post templates for long. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2013 21:50:50 GMT
@trevor Heidi smiles a bit, before forcing it down. She fidgets with her fingers, and bits her lip. She doesn't know what to say, and it makes her regret staying. She should've left when she had the chance.
"Sounds really exciting." She says. Her voice is steady and sarcastic. "I don't know how you could've pulled yourself away."
She doesn't know how to bring up last night. She doesn't want to, but she wants to. She wants to forget the kiss, but she also wants to remember it. Her whole mind is filled with contradicting thoughts with no idea how to sort out which ones are true and which are false.
It's slowly killing her too. made by CAPTAIN of GANGNAM STYLE |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2013 22:48:59 GMT
Somehow the sarcasm in her voice doesn't seem to bother him, but then again if it had they wouldn't be best friends. "Really, it was hoping that you were still here." The sarcasm is brushed off easily, and Trevor is back to his smile, looking up at Heidi. He knows that she's eating herself up inside, that they should probably talk about it. Then again, he doesn't want to see her cry again, doesn't want to see her be in pain. But he can't help himself. "About last night," it starts, and honestly Trevor wonders if she'll actually walk out on him this time through. "What I said, I meant. I meant that I feel the same way towards you - I kind of have since like first grade, Heidi. I meant that you shouldn't feel bad about it, because honestly, there isn't anything bad about it. You can relax around me anyway, you can find someone that you trust enough to let those walls down."Because he knows he's safe, that he won't yell at her like her parents do. He won't ever treat her like they do, and instead he'd treat her like he always has - like a best friend, his other half. @nan06 something tells me we won't be keeping the post templates for long. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2013 23:29:20 GMT
@trevor Heidi doesn't know what to say to Trevor about that comment.
Her stomach drops at the mention of last night. She wanted to talk about it, yes, but just the thought of remembering last night made her shiver. Her feelings about everything that had to do with Trevor were contradictory to be honest.
Again, like always, she's speechless in front of Trevor.
Her words are lost in her mind, and even if she did have something to say, they wouldn't be able to come out of her mouth. They sit in silence for too long and it starts to grate on her nerves. So, she does the first thing her body thinks of.
She laughs, or maybe chuckles is a better word for it.
"Since first grade, wow Trev', low standards from a young age that's sad." She says. made by CAPTAIN of GANGNAM STYLE |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2013 3:08:05 GMT
The silence is awkward, and Trevor could have sworn that it is slowly strangling him. It's an uncomfortable blanket, and he's hiding under it, and despite his better judgement, he refuses to pop his head out for air.
It makes him fidget.
When she speaks, he can't help but let out an exasperated laugh, because that's all he can at the moment. He can't believe what he's hearing, that Heidi would ever think so, so lowly of herself to say such things, and for a moment Trevor is stunned silent. Then he remembers that he's just about the only thing she has left, and she's the only thing he has left. "No." It comes out as a croak, and Trevor wonders why his voice sounds so raw. Like he hasn't spoken for years. "No." He repeats himself, and his voice sounds a little stronger. "You're not thinking straight, Heid. You're just - you're perfect, okay? To me, at least. Fuck everyone else and their opinions."@nan06 something tells me we won't be keeping the post templates for long. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2013 4:02:38 GMT
@trevor Heidi laughs sarcastically. She glances over at him, sitting next to her and she moves her hand to run her fingers through his hair affectionately.
She feels a little sick from the compliment Trevor gave her, but she doesn't let it show. No one needs to know of the sickness building up in her stomach whenever she's complimented, definitely not Trevor.
"Yeah, okay." She says. "But, if I fuck everyone else and their opinions, when will I have time for you?" made by CAPTAIN of GANGNAM STYLE |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 19, 2013 4:28:08 GMT
"That's the beautiful thing about it all, Heidi." He starts, grin growing just a little bit. It's faint, but it's there. "They don't deserve your time anyway." He pulls his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on his arms while still looking up at her. For some reason, Trevor never could manage to wrap his head around why Heidi thought so lowly of herself. He knew it had something to do with his parents, making her feel useless, and he wanted to help her see otherwise. The truth. Clearing his throat, he wants to change the topic. "How long are you planning on staying?" Because, to be honest, he wants to watch a movie and be able to pop some popcorn and curl up next to her. @nan06 |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2013 17:14:21 GMT
@trevor Heidi forces a horrible smile across her lips. He won't notice though, because it'll be gone by the time he turns around. Heidi doesn't like to smile, she feels like it makes her that little bit more vulnerable. Shows people that yes, she does in fact have feelings. Maybe that's why she only smiles around Trevor, because he already knows how weak she is. Despite her many attempts to keep it all under wraps.
Heidi shrugs, "I don't know, as long as you'll let me?"
She pulls her legs against her chest and wraps her arms around them, lacing her fingers together and there, silently, on the tip of her tongue rests the million dollar question she already knows the answer to. Will you let me stay forever? made by CAPTAIN of GANGNAM STYLE |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2013 18:42:55 GMT
With that, he curled up on the couch next to her, taking a moment to look for a remote before he bothered to answer. "You could live her permanently for all I care." Another, more half-grin. "It's nice, sharing an apartment with you. Kind of." Despite Heidi leaving every once in a while to go back to her house - and ultimately, come right on back to him - it was like she filled it. To be honest, it was kind of lonely without her around anyway. "You have a bed here for a reason, Heidi. It's your home, too." It was their home, that they shared and patched each other up in. A place that was away from her parents, away from his dad, and more importantly their hideout. Like a tree house in the backyard. @nan06 |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2013 19:47:52 GMT
@trevor Heidi raises an eyebrow with a small frown on her lips, "Kind of?"
Heidi wonders if Trevor only likes having her around sometimes. She wonders, for a small moment, if Trevor doesn't like her as much as she thinks he does. It makes her scared for a second, but she clears her mind and tries to calm her mind and her accusations.
Trevor isn't like that, he isn't like the other people, he isn't like her parents.
She smiles for a second, "A home where I'm welcome huh, I guess that's nice." made by CAPTAIN of GANGNAM STYLE |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2013 23:34:57 GMT
He's realized what he's said only moments after it's already out of his mouth, and Trevor can't really take it back. But he can clarify. "That- That's not what I meant, Heidi."A sigh, he isn't sure how he'll fix it. "Kind of as in you're only kind of here. Not as in I kind of like you being here - I love you being here." And he means it, with all his heart. He's pouring himself out to her again, leaving himself vulnerable feeling, bare, and he doesn't like it but he reminds himself that it's Heidi. She deserves to know. "You're always welcome here. It's as much mine as it is your's." Even if she doesn't put money into it, or her name isn't really on the contract, it's just a piece of paper. "What movie do you want to watch?"@nan06 |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2013 1:14:25 GMT
@trevor Heidi forces another smile on her lips, "Yeah, it's fine Trev', I got what you meant."
No she didn't, of course she didn't, this is Heidi. She assumes the worst, she assumes the worst whenever talks about her. She feeds on insults and degrading comments, she doesn't know how to function without them. Compliments, nice words, caring words, those are the type of words she doesn't know how to cope with. She doesn't know how to cope with Trevor sometimes, especially when he compliments her.
"Thanks." She says. It feels okay to hear the unspoken words ring through the air as a confirmation that it's okay for her to be here whenever she wants. "What do you have?" made by CAPTAIN of GANGNAM STYLE |
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